For the longest time I didn’t understand why with childbirth women still went through extreme pain. I mean Jesus died on the cross for all of our sins, by grace we are made new… Why do we then still suffer for a sin made long ago? I didn’t understand it but that didn’t change the fact I trusted God, He has His reasoning. I was never mad at God because of it, just something I didn’t understand.

A little over 5 weeks ago I gave birth to my beautiful healthy son. I labored over 22 hours, had him at home, unassisted (just God and my husband), in active labor (the hardest part) for over 9 hours, no pain medicine….

I was so tired and at the end the pain never stopped. It was constant for so long. It was all I could do to just breathe and try to relax through it.

There was a moment when my husband told me he saw our baby’s head crowning. No exaggeration, everything dimmed and my excitement rose like none before… My energy skyrocketed, the pain was still there but like a small buzzing in the background of my focus. I pushed my hardest and within 2 minutes my baby boy came home to my husband and I.

I remember staring at my boy, so grateful for the 9+ months I had carried him as he developed. I was so grateful for the last 22+ hours of labor… looking at his face there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have gone through to get to him.

It doesn’t matter anymore how hard it was, how much I had to change. I can’t even remember how hard it was, with every passing day the details and memories fade and what takes its place is something so much better… my boy. My little hungry hippo, my chunky monkey, my little man, my cutie, my Matthew.

I still don’t know why God still has us go through the pain of labor… but after giving birth I realize, I’m grateful we do.

It challenges me to look at things in a different way. For God to birth something so amazing as my son, it took a process that wasn’t easy. I had to change. It took time, it took pain, a lot of time being uncomfortable, not being in control, learning… a lot of praying. I had to let go to the process, embrace every step of the way, try my hardest but understand that some days you’re just tired.

I know that when you pray for something, when you see God doing something in you or your situation sometimes there’s a similar process. If you want something from God, especially something big, don’t be afraid of the process. Trust me He’ll take you through it, His timing, His way, His plan.

Pregnancy and giving birth are the hardest things I’ve ever been blessed to go through.